


The roads now taken

by daughter_of_the_fifth_house



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Additional scenes, Department of temporal investigation, Enterprise, F/M, Missing Scene, Ten Forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 07:45:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13336620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daughter_of_the_fifth_house/pseuds/daughter_of_the_fifth_house
Summary: For Spock and Nyota Uhura the roads not taken can turn into the roads now taken… While fighting against Nero Spock gets glimpses into another reality. He realizes that he loves Nyota and, when the Romulans are defeated, gets some help from a woman never meant to be on the first Enterprise - Guinan.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story back in 2009. Recently, I was rewatching the Kelvin timeline movies, discovered AO3 and decided to pick up writing again. I'm working on a new story, but will first upload the two I've already written. This is the second of them. I revised it quite a bit in some parts.
> 
> English isn’t my first language. So (aside from possible typing errors) there might be grammar mistakes or clumsy/bumpy expressions. I hope you enjoy the story anyway.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. I just borrowed Spock, Uhura & Co.

Captain Data was gazing out of this ready room’s windows when there was a beep and two men walked in without waiting for his permission.

“The Agents Dulmer and Lucsly from the Department of temporal investigation, I suppose.“

They nodded.

“We’re here about the disappearance of Ambassador Spock”, Lucsly went straight to the topic.

“So you think there are temporal alterations?” Data gestured them to have a seat and settled in his chair behind the desk.

“Well, the thing is…” Dulmer started.

“… that the Ambassador”, continued Lucsly, “disappeared into a black hole which was linked with a temporal anonaly… or rather caused one. But strangely we cannot detect any changes in the timeline.”

“It’s a riddle”, Dulmer added.

“And you are here because...?” Data asked.

“Well, we have to investigate this. A certain disturbance was measurable. No changes in time, but Spock is missing. Doesn’t fit together.”

“The ambassador knows about the time directive”, Data replied. “It is very probable that he would do nothing to change the order of historical events.”

“Yes, well…” Dulmer looked very skeptical. “The thing is that… he is Spock.”

Data blinked. “I do not understand.”

“Spock. As in best fried of James T. Kirk. Former crewmember of the Enterprise and Enterprise-A.”

“I still do not understand.”

“Yeah, maybe because you don’t work in our department…” Lucsly sighed.

“Kirk…” Dulmer shook his head. “Seventeen separate temporal violations. The biggest on record. That man was a menace. A temporal nightmare…”

„The Ambassador is Vulcan. I can assure you – he would never change the history intentionally.“

“Well, he actually did when he and Kirk took a Klingon warbird back in time”, Dulmer answered.

“Ah, yes, I am familiar with that incident.”

“See?”

“But you say yourself that there are no alterations in the past”, Data replied. “So I do not see any problem.”

“There might be a predestined paradox”, Lucsly explained.

“That he was meant to go back in time and act in a certain manner”, Dulmer elaborated needlessly.

“Yes”, Lucsly nodded.

“We hate that”, Dulmer added.

“No”, Data said categorical. “You would have detect a paradox. But… there is a very likely scenario.”

“You mean he could be dead? And Nero as well?” Lucsly presumed.

“Even two scenarios then”, Data corrected himself. “No, I mean that he could have gone back in time, but the extraordinary combination of red matter and the supernova in connection with the warp field of Spocks and Neros ships might have sent him not only into another time, but thereby opened the door to a parallel reality… Or even more likely created in that precise moment an alternative timeline in which the Ambassador is stuck now. This alternative reality would be similar to our own up to the moment of the ship’s arrival and then develop differently… After all, I do not think Nero would feel bound to some Starfleet-made temporal directive. Do you not think? ... Also, you have not considered a travel into the future, although this would be very improbable under the circumstances of Spock's disappearance.”

“Interesting”, was all Lucsly managed to say and shared a look with his fellow agent.

“Of course we would detect a certain amount of disturbances concerning the future timeline”, Dulmer finally said. “We wouldn't know what the difference is, but our sensors would detect a fluctuation.”

“And none of all of these possibilities is the case?”

They nodded.

“So you are here because…?” Data picked up his earlier question.

“As I said – it’s our job to investigate incidents like this one”, Luscly said.

Data rose and both agents followed him to the door. “I hope, I was able to be of some assistance to you.”

“Well, we’ll close the file, I guess”, Dulmer answered. “Our investigation seems to be at a dead end. No Spock, no temporal changes. We will add your theories to our findings.”

“By the way, Captain”, Lucsly added while leaving the room. “The Enterprise under the command of Jean-Luc Picard can almost compete with Kirk’s temporal record… Zefram Cochrane… unbelievable… so stupid… so dangerous… screw the Borg…”

Data raised an eyebrow. The door closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the Prologue I borrowed Dulmer and Lucsly as well as some lines from the DS9 tribble episode. Fun fact: These names are anagrams of Mulder and Scully (X-files).


	2. Zero hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock and Nyota Uhura talk about the future. He has some kind of strange visions, but keeps that to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the Prime Universe Spock and Uhura didn't know each other at Starfleet Academy. They met years later on the Enterprise. Spock, McCoy and Kirk also. In the 2009 movie the whole bridge crew actually meets seven years earlier as in TOS whose season one is set in the year 2265. In fact, the destruction of the Enterprise in STB was in 2263 and therefore two years earlier than the crew even met in the Prime timeline. 
> 
> The first chapter plays prior to the movie. Following chapters will be a mix of movie scenes and addictional scenes focusing on Spock and Nyota, but there are also missing/additional scenes.

Commander Spock was awoken by the strange sensation of something being wrong. Wrong aside from the presence of a beautiful young woman next to him in bed. A woman who was one of his students at Starfleet Academy and who’s bare back was only covered partially by the grey Starfleet issued sheets.

He tried to remember the events leading to this particular situation and fitting it into the odd sentiment which had disturbed his sleep. Strangely, it was caused by Nyota Uhura’s presence – and nevertheless she wasn’t its reason.

Spock sat up in bed and attempted to clarify the odd feeling. He didn’t know where it originated or what its purpose was. Although it seemed somehow to be familiar to the phenomenon the Humans described as déjà-vu. His eyes wandered up on Nyota's naked back. Something about her laying there like this…

Suddenly a scene flashed in his mind. The last evening… their meeting on campus… but it didn’t happen… well, as it did. He saw them both walking on campus... but not together... they wore differently looking uniforms... they didn't know each other… went to one’s own quarters… went to bed alone... And yet – what he just saw didn’t really happen.

“How curious…” Spock whispered to himself and laid down again.

Nyota moved, drew the sheets higher and snuggled against him. “Everything alright?”

“I am not sure. There was...” He paused. “Well, never mind. Go back to sleep, Nyota.”

“Are you afraid of someone seeing me entering your quarters with you?”

“No, we were as discrete as always. Even so, I’ll be… glad when your graduation ceremony is over.”

“I’m not.”

“Why?” he replied surprised.

“Because you’ll be on the Enterprise then and goodness knows where I’m going to be stationed…” She answered sadly and averted his gaze. “Is there any chance for me to get on the Enterprise?”

His right hand caressed her cheek. “You are after all the best of your class.”

“So… we could be together?”

“It would be logic.”

Nyota giggled and the melancholy left her eyes. “I’m sorry, but this being logic is funny.”

“It is?”

“Yes”, she laughed.

“Why? How?” He frowned.

“Oh Spock…” She brought herself up on her elbows and in doing so the sheets slipped down exposing her back again. “To everyone else it certainly would sound cold and distant and… well, Vulcan… when you’re saying my possible deployment to the Enterprise, and thus having me near you, is logic. But to me…” She leaned closer. “...it’s quite the opposite. I _know_ you… And most of all I know that this doesn’t mean what it sounds like. I know that, of course, there is the official, logical side on which I really am the best student in class and deserve to be on the Enterprise… but you can’t hide the fact that you want me to be with you, that you wish to pursue our relationship.” She smiled again. “Your feelings… _our_ feelings are in a paradox manner logic to you…”

Spock’s face softened. “If I weren’t Vulcan, I now would say that it is almost frightening how well you know me, Nyota.”

“Well, it’s a good thing then that you’re only half Vulcan.” Nyota smiled. “But you know what? My reasons for wanting to be on the Enterprise are ambivalent, too. I want to be there because it’s the _Enterprise_. And because of you.”

She captured his lips with her own.

 

***

 

At the same time in a distant star system a little ship with an old Vulcan ambassador on board emerged from a huge anomaly in time and space…


	3. To boldly go…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock has another vision and Nyota gets herself reassigned to the Enterprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The well known movie scene - with a little extra...

“Uhura – USS Farragut.”

Farragut – not Enterprise. The words struck her like a bolt of lightning. Furiously she made her way through the chaos of boarding in the hangar, searching for Spock. She passed James Kirk and Leonard McCoy, but ignored them. It didn’t take her long to find the Half-Vulcan. He was occupied at some computer station.

“Commander, a word?” she said as calmly as she was capable.

“Yes, Lieutenant?” he replied formally without interrupting his work.

“Was I not one of your top students?” she asked also in a formal voice.

Spock still went on studying the monitors and typing in commands. “Indeed, you were.” He took a PADD and headed to one of the shuttles. He already suspected what this was about, already had expected her to show up. He also noticed her emotional state.

Nyota followed him and started a logical argumentation. “And did I not on multiple occasions demonstrate an exceptional aural sensitivity and, I quote, an unparalleled ability to identify sonic activities in subspace transmission tests?”

“Consistently, yes”, he answered while stopping and turning to her.

 “And while you’re aware of my desire to serve on the Enterprise, I’m assigned to the Farragut?” Now her voice was filled with anger as she referred to their conversation in the night before.

“It was an attempt to…” Her piercing gaze hit him and for a short moment his guard and professionalism went down. He actually needed a second to come up with a good and logical reason. “…avoid the appearance of favoritism.”

The truth. At least a part of it. To his own surprise it occurred to him that the assignment to the Farragut was caused rather by emotion than by logic. The two worlds inside him struggled for the right decision concerning the stationing of Nyota Uhura. Logic had dictated to have Nyota and her expertise on the Enterprise. Also, she would be near him this way. But emotion wanted her to be save on the Farragut which was scheduled to stay in the background and take on the injured. Spock really was confused now. Concerning Nyota Uhura the borders between logic and emotion seemed to blurr more and more.

“No”, she demanded in a fierce voice that allowed no contradiction. “I’m assigned to the Enterprise.” She held her breath, held his gaze reminding him this way of his own logic.

A few eternal seconds passed.

Spock told himself again logical reasons for Uhura being on the Farragut, but... on the other hand... there was no way in hell of saying no to this piercing glance anyway. So, without a word, he made the required alterations on his PADD.  “Yes, I believe you are."

“Thank you.”

Spock left and returned to his work. And he actually was relieved by her demand to be on the Enterprise… while still being puzzled about the crumbling line between logic and emotion concerning Nyota Uhura.

Suddenly a scene flashed in his mind. Starfleet Academy, again. An ordinary day. He saw people he knew. Uhura was one of them. But the building was different. _She_ looked different. Spock froze for a moment und tried to figure out what was going on. Obviously he had started to see things that didn't happen. But how and why? What about the different uniforms he had already see in his earlier vision? The different architecture? … When the images faded he went on working. There was no time to look into this.

 

***

 

Nyota smiled. Her heart was pounding. Not because of the Enterprise, not even because she would be there with Spock… which was of course very important… No, this brief moment made her realize how much she meant to him and how serious their relationship had grown. Certainly, Spock would never admit it and if asked, his answer would be that it was only logical to have someone like her on the best ship. Though assigning her to the Farragut at first was confusing and contradicted to what he had said at night. That part wasn't quite clear.

Her smile faded and she contemplated about the events. What just happened? When had it ever been that easy – even for her – to bring Spock to do something?

Well, of course, she had reminded him of the – ambivalent – logic for her to be on the Enterprise. But she suddenly doubted that either side of this logic was responsible for his chance of mind. The irony was anyway that she had played the girlfriend card while using logical arguments.

Nyota looked around and checked if somebody might have heard their conversation for nobody dared to talk to Spock like she just did. Then she headed to the shuttle.


	4. Tomorrow's end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young and the old Spock go through the worst moments of their lives.

Everything happened so fast. The Starfleet ships took off and were attacked at Vulcan. Captain Christopher Pike became a prisoner on the enemy ship called Narada. James T. Kirk was on the Enterprise because Doctor Leonard McCoy hat smuggled hin on board. And Vulcan got destroyed. Spock was able to save some of the Elders and his father. But his mother...

When the Commander materialized on the Enterprise, he almost wasn't able to breathe. Great pain flooded his body and he was barely able to keep his emotions under control. He also barely managed to hold up. His body felt numb.

While Spock's mind was trying to process the death of his mother and that Vulcan was being consumed by a black hole in this very moment, images started building up in his head. He sensed it again. It was like the previous two times. Something was wrong. Well, of course it was. Vulcan was destroyed. But this time Spock understood. At least sort of. Something terribly wrong had happened and for some reason - he reacted to it. He was almost sure that now he would be presented with another glimpse to a different version of this moment in time.

And he was right. The images sharpened. Vulcan. It was Vulcan. Unharmed. Some heavy weight seemed to be pressing on his chest and almost deprived him of air.

And he saw more, much more. A wild mixture of known and unknown events spun around in his mind. Two known scenes recurred. The Nyota Uhura he knew – a different one… Starfleet academy – and the academy but looking different...

Then the Enterprise – also in two versions. Diverging personal, short image flashes of random events. More and more pictures were swirling around in his head, noises growing louder. It was impossible to understand or to hold the sounds apart. Everything formed up to a hurricane... which turned into Vulcan getting consumed by the back hole… which became exploding white light…

Then it was over. Spock blinked and looked at the empty spot, where his mother should have been standing. He made a step forward.

Wrong.

It must not have happened.

Spock remembered the image of the unharmed planet Vulcan as part of the just ended vision. And the conversation with Nero prior to Captain Pike's departure returned to his mind. He could not be certain about it, but he felt that the Romulan didn't belong here. That he might be from… somewhere else. The future maybe? In retrospect the attacker's words about not being with the Romulan Empire and his ship's technology implied something like that. And if so, Vulcan wasn't supposed to be destroyed. If so, history now had been altered and for some reason Spock sensed it, was able to catch glimpses of… of the way everything could have… or should have been?

If this incident wasn't meant to happen… that tornado of images was made of two parallel realities of which one was possibly annihilated now. And it was probable that there would not be further visions for the destruction of Vulcan was a major event that very much differed the two realities. Spock suspected the first two visions to be caused by preexisting varieties in the historical events which had triggered somehow short glances into a divergent but still kindred reality…

His thoughts blurred… A new wave of grief built up and dragged Spock's mind back to the current situation. He oppressed the emotion immediately.

Moments later, seeming like hours, he stepped off the transporter platform and resumed his duties.

 

***

 

On the arctic surface of Delta Vega Ambassador Spock had watched Vulcan's destruction. His gaze was still raised into the now empty sky. An unbearable anguish was about to overwhelm him and it took his entire Vulcan education to keep that emotion restrained.

A whispered voiceless "Impossible" escaped his lips and he started realizing what aftermath this event would have. Vulcan really was gone. Gone forever. The history…

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. Since emerging the temporal anomaly and being captured by Nero he'd known that he would never be able to go back home. But it had never occurred to him what tremendous impact his and Nero's presences in this time could have or would have. Not only the future of Vulcan was destroyed – the known future of the whole Alpha Quadrant seized to exist now.

Ambassador Spock turned away from the empty sky and recalled his knowledge about the red matter, black holes and quantum physics.

"This cannot be undone…" he told himself quietly. "But with any… luck…" How ironic to use this word in this situation. "… the red matter has created an alternative reality." He thought about his human friends, Starfleet and the Federation. He thought about the people he knew and who would never exist for Vulcan was gone. And who knew how many more people Nero already had killed or was about going to. Spock simply hoped Nero would be stopped in time.

He was not entirely sure about the exact stardate. But if his calculations were right the Enterprise with his younger self and Jim Kirk on board was out there along with the fleet.

In this very moment Spock was too absorbed by the shock of Vulcan's destruction, so the possibility of things being different on his former ship or being wrong about the date didn't yet occur to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think, in the movie Spock knows what the year is. But that's actually a little plot hole considering that in the Prime Universe Jim Kirk became Captain of the Enterprise in 2265 and the movie is set in 2258.


	5. Darkest night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota wants to help Spock. He realizes that he almost lost her and that he's in love with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically the movie scenes with some emotional background. Also, Spock realizes that he loves Nyota.

"Acting Captain's Log, stardate 2258.42. We have had no word from Captain Pike and I therefore classified him as a hostage of the war criminal known as Nero. Nero, who has destroyed my home planet and six billion of it's inhabitants… While the essence of our culture has been saved in the Elders, who now reside upon this ship, I estimate no more than ten thousand have survived… I am now a member of an endangered species…"

Spock trailed off. He wasn't able to go on with his log entry. He remembered his mother vanishing before his very eyes. And he couldn't get the strange images the visions had brought him out of his mind. Though largely having figured out their meaning, there was still the mystery of him having them in the first place…

Spock rose and went to the turbo lift. He wasn't capable to stay on the bridge. He just had to get… out.

Nyota silently had watched him and heard every word of his log entry. Without hesitation she put her earpiece away and followed him. She didn't really know what to do or say, she just had to be with him and try to help him.

When the lift doors closed behind the both of them, Spock just looked at her. His sadness and vulnerability were almost palpable. He wanted to say something but his mind was just empty. There was nothing but pain and grief. They ruled over everything else. In this very moment logic and control were nothing but a façade. And yet he absolutely had to keep it up.

Still not being certain what the right thing to say was, Nyota reached out for a button and stopped the lift between two decks. "I'm sorry", she whispered. "I'm sorry…" Nyota felt tears in her eyes and tried to blink them away. She framed Spock's face with her hands. "I'm so sorry…"

She kissed him, kissed his check, pulled him into a tight embrace. She didn't know how Vulcans did grief and couldn't image how it felt to lose one's home planet. So nothing she could say would be appropriate. All she _could_ do was to comfort him, be there for him.

After hesitating a little Spock responded and gave into the hug. He closed his eyes, placed his hands on Nyota's back and allowed himself to give in to his emotions for the time being. To his surprise he could almost feel his pain easing for a few seconds, he even forgot everything else around him.

Still holding him as close as physically possible, Nyota gently stroke his neck and he buried his face in her shoulder.

Slowly the parted.

"What do you need? Tell me", she whispered softly in his ear, then took his face again in her hands, almost resting her forehead against his. "Tell me…"

Spock's gaze drifted away from her. There was an answer, but he couldn't give it. Not now. There was no time… Basically, he needed her. Needed her just to be near him. It was so simple. He was grateful for her running after him… But what he most needed, wished and desired was to make the destruction of Vulcan as well as his mother's death undone – and that was impossible.

So… there was no time for pain, grief or anger. There was still so much at stake. More lives. And losing any one else was just not acceptable. Also, they had to catch Nero. Therefore Spock forced himself to put his emotions away. He reached out for the stop button and pushed it.

"I need… I need everyone to…" His voice trembled. "… continue performing admirably." It never had been that difficult to master his emotions.

Still cupping Spock's face, once again Nyota fought her tears and just nodded. "Okay…"

She kissed him again and he kissed her back. Then she let go of him.

The turbo lift stopped. The doors opened and he walked away without any other word. Nyota remained inside. The doors shut again and her eyes got wet. She was now crying. Spock would never allow himself to cry – so she did it instead.

 

***

 

While walking through the corridors it took Commander Spock all his mental strength to gain back and remain in control over his emotions. The grief came in waves which seemed getting even stronger each time. Nyota had managed to soften one of them, but in doing so caused something else to flash up in his mind.

It hit him like a punch in the face. This day Spock had lost so much, but he didn't only feel pain and anguish about those events… for he had almost lost Nyota Uhura, too. If she had been on the Farragut… Unimaginable. He suddenly felt nauseous.

Around the next corner he stepped into an empty lab where he wouldn't be disturbed. He stepped to the window front and just stared out into the dark empty space.

Spock could think of nothing but Nyota's assignment. If he hadn't changed it… If she hadn't persisted… If he hadn't given in… The shock that she could have died on the Farragut replaced his mighty grief for the time being. His chest tightened, he couldn't barely breathe and another painful wave of emotion captured him. Paradoxically painful and illogical… for it was… love.

"I love her…" he whispered. Not that he hadn't been aware of his feelings for Nyota Uhura – but in this moment it was kind of a shocking realization caused by the unbearable thought of nearly losing her.

It took Spock half an hour until he was in a condition that allowed him to resume his duties.

 

***

 

On the bridge Jim Kirk was sitting in the Captain's chair. "Earth might be his next stop, but we have to assume that every Federation Planet is a target."

Spock passed him. "Out of the chair."

Kirk rose immediately while Spock went on wandering around.

"Well, if the Federation is the target", Chekov said with Russian accent, "why didn't they destroy us?"

"Why would they? Why waste a weapon? They obviously wanna threat", Sulu added.

Spock shook his head while walking around, thinking about the situation and fitting in his visions and assumptions about them. "That is not it. He said he wanted me to see something – the destruction of my home planet."

"How the hell did they do that by the way?" Doctor McCoy commented. "And where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry?"

More than ever Spock was sure about his presumptions abou Nero and it was time to tell the crew about it. "The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel trough spacetime."

"Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist!" McCoy shouted. "Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?"

"If you eliminate the impossible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth", Spock replied calmly.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "How poetic."

"Then what would an angry future Romulan want with Captain Pike?" Kirk replied.

"As Captain he does know details about Starfleet's defenses", Sulu answered.

While Kirk and Spock discussed loudly how to stop Nero and how to save Captain Pike, Nyota Uhura stood quietly in the background and watched them. She was concerned about Spock, concerned about the whole situation. He appeared to be strong, logical and distant as ever, but she knew that on the inside he wasn't anything but that.

"You say he's from the future, knows what's gonna happen, then the logical thing is to be unpredictable", Kirk stated.

Spock shook his head in disagree and thought about his last vision and its ending. "You're assuming that Nero knows how events that are predicted unfold. The contrary. Nero's very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today thereby creating an entire new chain of incidents that cannot be anticipated by either party."

Nyota stepped forward. "An alternate reality", she added.

Spock looked to her, then his eyes wandered back to Kirk. "Precisely." He started walking around again. Though he still couldn't explain those visions' origin, the images itself supported his theory. "Whatever our lives might have been if the time continuum was disrupted, our destinies have changed…" He sat down in the Captain's chair. "Mr. Sulu, plot in a course to the Laurentian system. Warp 3."

"Spock, don't do that", Kirk adjured.

And they started to argue again until Spock commanded security to take Kirk away from the bridge… which resulted in a struggle… which resulted in Spock using his Vulcan nerve pinch on Kirk and sending him to Delta Vega in a life pod.

Nyota watched the entire scene helplessly and sighed. Ironically, it occurred to her that the two of them could make a good team and become good friends if they'd be able to put aside their anger and stubbornness.


	6. Emotionally compromised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Delta Vega Ambassador Spock thinks about the timeline and on the Enterprise Commander Spock talks with his father about Nyota and this feelings.

Ambassador Spock sighed when he had sent off successfully Montgomery Scott and the marooned James T. Kirk to where they belonged. While making sure for Kirk to return to the Enterprise, there had been no time to reflect on the latest events. But now… Several thoughts flooded his mind. First of all, he had to admit to himself that he was as much emotionally compromised as his younger self was. Although he told Jim about that, now being alone he could allow himself to lower his inner shields…

So many Vulcans he knew would probably ceaze to exist… would never _even_ exist. The first names that came into his mind were Saavik, Valeris and Tuvok. He couldn't imagine what their nonexistence would do to the future… to the relationship with the Klingons… to the USS Voyager and her unwillingly journey to the Delta Quadrant… and even to the 'little things'. Unimaginable who would never be born because of Vulcan's destruction or because of the other deaths Nero might already had caused.

The Ambassador also wondered if dear friends and colleagues like Jean-Luc Picard, Worf, Katherine Janeway or Data would ever come to existence... or if others he knew once or got to know at this time were alive or had been killed by Nero... Not to speak about the destruction of the USS Kelvin which had killed George Kirk and shaped the life of James T. Kirk so that his way to Starfleet had been entirely different.

It was all unimaginable. Impossible. How many more lives had evolved differently? Or would do so…

Of course, Ambassador Spock was certain his younger self and Kirk would soon develop the friendship he had told him about. Still he was highly worried. Too much was altered already, too many lives were already lost.

He really was conflicted about whether he should tell Starfleet about certain incidents which would come to pass or new enemies. The Borg were top on that list. At Wolf 359 so many people had lost their lives. Shouldn't he turn events like those for the better? He knew about defense options, technology… Well, if the later Enterprise-D would not encounter Q and if Q would not introduce them to the Borg and vice versa, there would be no…

The Vulcan shook his head. _Bullshit_ , he heard the voice of Jim Kirk saying in his mind. The Borg were out there somewhere. Therefore sooner or later they would discover Earth and the Federation. He had to prepare Starfleet and the Alpha Quadrant. He also has to inform them about V'ger… Khan, who became Kirk's Nemesis… the wormhole near Bajor and the menace by the Dominion... even the Romulan sun going supernova. As much as preventing certain events would change history and in fact violate the Temporal Prime Directive, he could do something good and save some lives in return for those Nero had taken. Also, the Department of Temporal Investigation didn't exist yet. And if this was an alternative reality they didn't matter anyway.

But one step at a time. First, Nero had to be defeated. Ambassador Spock was certain the Enterprise would succeed. And then… who knew to where the new paths of history might lead them? So much was already changed and the next hours would change even more.

The Ambassador stepped to a computer console. When he saw the current stardate he froze. "Oh..."

The events evolving differently was an understatement. No wonder James Kirk was surprised when he talked about him as Captain. It was 2258. It was far earlier than the older Spock had anticipated. Spock had been already on the Enterprise at this point of time, serving under Pikes command, but his Jim Kirk had taken over the Enterprise not until 2265.

Spock sighed. He thought about how he had met Jim Kirk and the crew of the Enterprise in that year. Now everything was different. Much earlier. Much more rushed. He wondered what that would mean for the future.

At present, the only thing he knew about his younger self was that he also had enlisted in Starfleet and was assigned to the Enterprise. And the mere fact that the young James Kirk and the young Spock already knew each other and were en-route to fight Nero together showed that some things just were meant to happen anyway. Even finding Montgomery Scott on this planet proved it. Some souls seemed to be drawn together… which lead the Ambassador finally to wonder what his younger self's personal live might look like. How got the other Spock along with his… their father? ... Did his father survive the destruction of Vulcan? And his mother? So many questions…

 

***

 

Nyota Uhura was taken by surprise when James T. Kirk returned to the Enterprise and immediately started to provoke an emotional reaction from Spock – and even more so when Spock gave in and started a fight. On the bridge. In front of the everyone. In the presence of his father. She could not believe the horrible things Kirk was saying. Even for him they appeared to be extreme. She wondered what he was up to.

"Spock!" Sarek's paternal authority saved Jim Kirk.

The Commander suddenly realized what he had been doing. He was shocked about his own actions, but felt some kind of relief about being able to vent some of his anger. Still… "Doctor, I am no longer fit for duty. I hereby relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

Now Nyota understood. In some way it was admirable that Kirk really had gotten Spock so far. For his grief – or more precisely the attached anger – had to be released and he already should have taken time to mourn. Even if such violence really wouldn't have been necessary.

When Spock was about to leave the bridge Nyota stepped beside him. Though she was on duty and therefore could not leave the bridge, she just wanted him to show that she was there for him. A short gaze of Spock acknowledged her gesture and told her that he would be okay. His eyes told her he needed some time alone anyway.

But Sarek who had noticed the looks between Spock and Uhura left the bridge and supposedly went after his son while James T. Kirk was resuming command of the ship.

Sarek found Spock in the very transporter room where the Elders of Vulcan were saved. The young Half-Vulcan was standing averted to the entry and his father, who now was entering the room.

"Speak your mind, Spock."

"That would be unwise", his son sadly replied. He obviously did not longer suppress his emotions any more.

"What is necessary is never unwise."

In his mind Spock was reliving the day's events, remembering the visions and also thinking about his feelings for Nyota Uhura. "I am as conflicted as I once was as a child", he summarized his emotional state.

"You will always be a child of two worlds..." Sarek started. "I'm grateful for this... And for you."

Spock turned around. "I feel anger for the one who took mother's live. An anger I cannot control."

Sarek stepped closer. He felt the confusion and Spock's inner fight. He sensed it necessary to put some of his logic away and provide his son with a… nudge in order to find his way. For a man half Vulcan and half Human there was no way to decide for one of those worlds. They were to be balanced. "I believe… as she would say… Do not try to. You asked me once why I married your mother." He paused and thought of Lieutenant Uhura. "I married her because I loved her." Slowly Sarek turned away and was about to leave Spock to his thoughts when his son's voice made him stop.

"You know about Lieutenant Uhura." It was a conclusion, not a question.

Sarek remained in the doorway. "I saw how you looked at each other on the bridge."

"I see."

"When… this is all over and the threat by Nero is taken care of, I would like to meet her properly."

"You do not disapprove my relationship with Nyota?"

"You refer to T'Pring."

"Not necessarily, but also."

Sarek nodded. "You were betrothed because it is Vulcan tradition. Back then, I was convinced for it to be the right course of action and that the Vulcan way would be the right and the only way for you, my son... But over the years you chose your own path. Don't lose it now." He stepped closer. "T'Pring is gone. But I assumed anyway you would not be going to bond with her."

"I heard two of the Elders talking about plans to rebuilt Vulcan."

"Yes, we will start searching for a suitable planet as soon as Nero is captured."

"I heard them discuss the problem of… well, there are not many Vulcans left."

"We are in shock. We lost our home planet, we're in battle and making plans helps to cope with the situation… is necessary… But don't burden yourself with thinking about what the Elders currently are discussing. There is already enough you have to take care of… We _do_ have to rebuild our culture. We will resume our way, but also will have to consider… innovations. It appears that there are going to be two options. Sealing us of and increase our population by logical matches and a detailed schedule – or taking our chances, as Humans would say, and see where the future takes us."

"What is your opinion about this matter?"

"I do not have one yet", his father answered. "But I think, first we will have to know for certain how many survivors there are. You estimate ten thousand. We hope, of course, that there will be more. We really are an endangered species, but there surely are children out there, pregnant woman too. And history tells that even endangered peoples won't just seize to exist that easily. We are after all no animals who are hunted down for some purpose. Well, at least we won't be when Nero is captured."

The room went quiet. Sarek left and Spock sat down on the transporter platform's step.


	7. A child of two worlds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock visits Nyota in her quarters and they decide they won't hide their relationship.

Nyota was once again surprised – and relieved – when Spock returned to bridge and approved Chekov's plan. Earlier she had seen Sarek going after him. Their conversation obviously was successful and Spock now was better. But when the Commander spoke of beaming himself alone on Nero's ship she suddenly grew worried.

"… if Mr. Sulu is able to maneuver us in position, I can beam on board Nero's ship, steal back the black hole device and, if possible, bring back Captain Pike", Spock said confidently.

Kirk shook his head. "I won't allow you to do that, Mr. Spock."

"Romulans and Vulcans share common ancestry", Spock replied. "Our cultural similarity will it make easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device." He avoided using the word 'logic' in his argumentation. "Also my mother was human which makes Earth the only home I have left."

Kirk made a few steps towards Spock. "I'm coming with you."

"I would cite regulation, but you would simply ignore it."

"See? We are getting to know each other." Kirk gave Spock an friendly punch at the upper arm.

Nyota blinked. There it was. The anger was gone and she could literally see them founding teamwork and friendship. Involuntary she smiled and got back to her station.

 

***

 

Nyota was alone in her quarters. Sitting on her bed, she was reading a novel Spock once gave to her. It was an early copy of Shakespeare's _Much ado about nothing_. It was the first spare time she'd had since leaving earth. The first time to literally get a breather. The Enterprise was on course to intercept Nero's ship at Saturn and Acting Captain Kirk wanted everyone to get some rest.

Nyota was thinking about the events since that shuttle took her to the Enterprise. So much had happened so fast. Cadets had become Ensigns or Lieutenants and were assigned to ships. No graduation ceremonies, just being thrown into real live because of necessity… She remembered the floating ship wrecks and ship parts over Vulcan. So many dead Starfleet officers. Almost an entire class of former students. Just gone… Then Vulcan's destruction soon after that. Billions of lives vanquished. Just like that. And they still didn't know why exactly. It had to do something with Spock, Romulus and the future, but she didn't understand. However she wondered how things were supposed to be, how they had been before Nero had gone back in time and had created this alternative reality…

A beep at the door dragged her thoughts back to the present.

"Come in."

The doors opened and Spock stepped into the room. He looked tired, but Nyota was glad to see him, glad that he came to her.

She put her book away. "How are you?"

He settled down beside her, but didn't say a word for some time. Nyota simply welcomed him in his arms. They shifted into a comfortable half laying position and she stroked his hair. She wished she could do more for him but perhaps this was enough. She was relieved that he didn't suppress his grief anymore and was now processing his emotions.

Nyota didn't know how much time passed but eventually Spock moved and touched her cheek, gently caressed her face.

"I think, I am better now", he whispered. He was surprised once again that being with her eased his pain for a little while.

She smiled. "I'm glad… I still can't believe want happened since we left Earth…" She sighed. "It appears to be a long dark dream."

"Without awakening."

"Yes", she whispered barely audible. She was tempted to ask him about Vulcan and his mother, when there was going to be a funeral or something like that. But she hesitated, didn't know if this was the right moment. "Sleep…"

"I cannot sleep now."

"Try. I know you haven't slept in several days."

Spock was about to protest and to say that he had to get back to the bridge – but he remained silent. He wanted and needed to be with her before hell would break lose when arriving in sector 001.

"We'll be at Titan in about an hour", Nyota said. "Stay here until then. Rest."

 

***

 

Nyota had accompanied Jim Kirk and Spock to the transporter room and stepped with Spock on the platform whereas the Captain was talking to Montgomery Scott.

"So… no graduation. But I'm not a cadet anymore", she slowly said. It wasn't really the time and place to talk about their relationship, but then again… it actually was. Would there be a better time? Or time at all for they didn't know what stopping Nero would cost them? And after all they were on the Enterprise. They had already talked about it a few days ago.

"Indeed", Spock replied quietly recalling their conversation prior to the departure from Earth.

"And we're on the Enterprise", Nyota added carefully and bedded her hands on his chest.

"We are", he agreed and placed his hands on her hips.

"No more secrets then? Officially being together?"

Spock hesitated. He wanted to say 'Yes' at once, but logic suddenly was about to dictate him another answer. With everything that had happened it didn't seem right to burden her with his struggle to manage the events. Also he didn't know if he would survive his journey to the Narada. But this time he put the logic aside, not his feelings. This time, logic actually appeared to be illogical. "For I am not the Captain, I am allowed to pursue a relationship with another member of the crew."

Nyota smiled though it was a sad smile due to the latest events and him being about to beam to the enemy vessel. "A simple yes would have been enough."

Spock bend down his head to kiss her.

Kirk stepped on the platform and had to look twice being certain not to hallucinate seeing his First Officer and his Communications Officer kissing. Silently and a little uncomfortable, but now knowing the answer for her rejecting his advances, he watched them.

"I will be back", Spock assured Nyota when he recognized fear and sorrow in her eyes.

"You better be", she gently impended while starting to cry silently. "I will monitor your frequency."

"Thank you, Nyota."

She kissed Spock goodbye and gave Kirk a strange look that made the Captain not only sure never to have chances with her, but also asking him to keep Spock save. He nodded and she went away, accompanied by Scotty's surprised and confused gaze.

Awkward silence captured the room for a moment.

"So, her first name is Nyota?" Kirk asked casually.

"I have no comment on the matter", Spock replied evasively.

"Okay then", Scotty said, "if there's any sense in the design of the enemy ship I should be putting you somewhere in the cargo bay."

"Energize", Kirk commanded.


	8. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Enterprises's crew defeats the Narada and Nyota and Spock talk about their kiss in the transporter room.

"I foresee a complication. The Design of this ship is far more advanced than I have anticipated", Spock stated when he and Jim Kirk entered the ship containing the red matter.

"Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock", the Computer's female voice suddenly sounded.

"Huh, that's weird", Kirk said quickly and went on hoping Spock wouldn't dig deeper.

The Vulcan stood still. "Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?" he asked and a notion started to unfold in his mind.

„Stardate 2387. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy."

And suddenly everything made sense. The jigsaw was complete. There was – or had been – another Spock out there. An older Spock. From the future, like Nero. And this was his ship. His future self must had followed the Narada through time. Now the Commander had a pretty good guess that the presence of his older self – Ambassador Spock as the computer said – was the reason for his vision. Quantum physics was a largely unexplored sector of science. No one knew for sure what would be happening if someone traveled trough time. Until now. He had caught glimpses of the others Spock's life, his life when he had been his age. The former shape of events and their new one somehow collided in certain related moments and Spock was able to sense those collisions in the form of visions. Although, he wasn't certain if it was because of the alternative reality that must had been created or merely by the time travel itself. Suddenly Kirk's appearance on the Enterprise fitted, too.

Spock went to Kirk who was in the vessel's cockpit. "It appears you have been keeping important information from me."

"You'll be able to fly this thing, right?" the Captain asked instead of answering his question.

"Something tells me I already have", Spock replied dryly.

"Good luck", Kirk said and walked away.

"Jim!" Spock called, suddenly realizing something.

Kirk stopped and turned around.

"The statistical likelyhood that our plan succeeds is less than 4.3 percent…"

"It'll work", Kirk simply said.

"In the event that I do not return, please tell Lieutenant Uhura –"

"Spock", Kirk cut in, "It'll work."

Spock sat down in the pilot's chair while Kirk went on to find Christopher Pike.

 

***

 

Barely an hour later everything was over. Nero was defeated, Pike was saved. As Spock, Kirk and Pike had materialized in the Enterprise McCoy and Uhura came running into the transporter room.

Nyota fell into Spock's arms. "You're back!" She almost started crying.

"Shhh, it's alright. It's alright." He held her tight, but was afraid to say the words he longed to say and which he was regretting never having said yet.

Kirk remained in the background, McCoy and his men took the injured Captain Pike to sickbay.

"Bridge?... Now?... Nasty little black hole out there?" Kirk gestured finally.

Spock and Uhura parted. "Yes, of course", Spock replied.

Quickly the three of them left the transporter room and headed to the bridge.

 

***

 

About ten minutes later a big singularity destroyed the Narada and the Enterprise barely made it out of the shock wave. The warp engines got a little shaken up and they would have to make it back to Earth by low impulse power. So the Captain gave all non essential personal some time off. He himself had to pay sickbay a visit and the Doctor had also demanded to see Spock.

"Ahhhhhh", Kirk gasped when a nurse tried to stabilize his dislocated shoulder.

"Sorry, Sir."

McCoy came over and scanned his chest and torso. "Two broken ribs. You got lucky."

Kirk shifted his sitting position on the bed.

"Does it hurt?" McCoy asked.

"No, only when I breathe."

McCoy instructed a nurse to take care of the broken ribs while he attended to Spock. A short scan showed him that the Half-Vulcan was okay. "You're free to go."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Spock left sickbay while Kirk moaned and cursed. His way lead him straight to a particular crew quarter. He touched the doorbell and Nyota's voice called "Come in".

"You okay?" she asked when the door closed behind him.

"Not really."

"I meant physical."

"Yes, I am cleared for duty."

She nodded and slowly closed the distance between them. "What will happen now? Will you… leave?"

"Why would I leave?"

"I heard some of the Elders talk."

He took her in his arms and she laid her head onto his chest. They stood silently for some moments.

"I am… torn... I do not want to leave the Enterprise, but I think my people need me. I would appear logic for me to assist the Elders in finding a new home world and setting up a Vulcan Colony." When he felt her tensing he made her look him into the eyes. "I am torn. I have not decided yet. I have to think."

She nodded and blinked a tear away. "I'm sorry. It's just so… much… And I'm so tired."

"You are sad."

Nyota turned and made a few steps, then sat down on her bed. "I'm sorry", she repeated. "I was so afraid when you and Kirk were on that ship… I remember again and again that we talked about being on the Enterprise. Together. That was only a few day ago, but it seems to be months. So much has happened. I just… I wished I could do something for you. I don't know what to say… You just lost your mother, your home planet and the bigger part of your people."

"As I said earlier – Earth is also my home…" Spock sat down beside her. " _You_ are my home."

Nyota lifted her head astonished.

"Whatever I will decide, I would never leave you." He kissed her gently.

"We kissed in front of Kirk and the transporter room crew", she stated quietly after a little while.

"We did."

"Then you know that the entire ship will be in on us."

Spock just nodded, then – to Nyota's surprise – sort of smiled.

"Let them talk?" she asked and also smiled.

"Let them talk."

He kissed her again and realized once more how comfortable he felt when being with her. Though he was not sure what to do about his possible participation in rebuilding the Vulcan society, he felt that at last he was about finding… balance. Nyota had become a constant in his struggle between his home worlds. His inner conflict appeared to ease slowly. And suddenly he sensed that he would find truly peace when he stayed with her and arranged everything else around her and the Enterprise. Also, it actually was logical considering his feelings for her.


	9. Second chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Spocks talk about the future and the younger Spock's glimpses into the other timeline. Also, the Ambassador gives his younger self something for Nyota.

At first, when Ambassador Spock arrived on Earth he avoided his younger self. He was tempted to attend the caught-up-graduation of the remaining cadets, who had been stationed on board the Enterprise, and the promotion of Captain James T. Kirk.

He decided against it. He could not take part in this. His path lead another way. But he felt pride and relief. After all what had went wrong and had been screwed up by Nero, something familiar was now about to begin. At least something was right, was how it was supposed to be. Though, as he now knew because of the stardate, far earlier than in his own timeline.

For everything else… time would tell. A new destiny laid ahead of Jim Kirk and his crew. And himself, too. Both of his selfs, he had to correct his thoughts a few seconds later when, from a distance, he saw Commander Spock and Lieutenant Uhura entering the Academy Building. Hand in hand. In the first moment wondering if his eyes played some tricks on him, he smiled to himself. A road he once had not taken on the Enterprise appeared to have turned into a road _now_ taken.

Contentedly the Ambassador made his way to the shuttle bay where he would depart for the planet they were going to call New Vulcan. Then a voice made him stop.

"Father", the Ambassador heard his younger self call.

He slowly turned around. "I am not our father."

The younger Spock was stunned. He immediately recognized the man in front of him, though he looked at him in disbelief.

They approached each other and Commander Spock involuntarily recalled the weird images of a different reality in his mind. It took him a few moments to process that the man who had caused them was actually standing in front of him. His future self who was stranded in this time. This reality.

"There are so few Vulcans left… we cannot afford to ignore each other", the Ambassador said as he closed a part of the space between them.

"Then why did you send Kirk on board when you alone could have explained the truth?" the younger Spock asked, slowly overcoming his confusion und surprise. There were many more questions, but he was hesitating. He didn't know what to ask first, didn't know which questions would be inappropriate.

"Because you needed each other", his older self explained straightforwardly and without reluctance. "I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together. Of a friendship that would define you both in ways you cannot yet realize." Despite this firm words he thought about the time difference. The crew had met now seven years earlier than in his own past. Oh, well, it simply had to play out right... Perhaps some things might even be better.

"How did you persuade him to keep your secret?" Though Spock was very curious about his senior self's life and wished for deeper understanding of the images he had seem, he had to ask at first about the encounter of Kirk and his older self. James Tiberius Kirk was still a mystery to him and up to this point he could not really imagine to become that good friends with him. But… then again, they had worked together very well. There was a certain dynamic between the both of them.

"He inferred that a universe-ending paradox would ensue should he break his promise", the Ambassador's answer was.

The younger Spock raised an eyebrow. "You lied."

"Oahh…" the other made. "I... I _implied_."

"A gamble." It was half question, half statement.

"An act of faith", Ambassador Spock emended. "One I hope you will repeat in the future. In Starfleet."

The younger Spock's inner conflict flashed and he remembered his conversation with his father and the conversation with Nyota Uhura. He still hadn't made up his mind yet. All he knew was that he wanted stay with Nyota.

"In the face of extinction it is only logical that I resign my Starfleet commission and help rebuild our race", he said, however with a shade of uncertainty in his voice.

The Ambassador slightly nodded. "And yet you can be in two places at once."

It was not only the mere statement of a fact, but also a little hint considering what he'd seen a few minutes ago. The elder Spock remembered once to have been torn between two heritages. He had chosen the Vulcan way of life and for all he knew his younger self's life had been directed the same way… but things were so much different now, had already been prior to his arrival in this time. And he sensed decisions in his younger self of which the Commander just wasn't aware yet.

"I urge you to remain in Starfleet", the Ambassador continued, "I have already located a suitable planet on which to establish a Vulcan colony." He looked at the younger one insistently. "Spock, in this case, do yourself a favor: put aside logic. Do what feels right."

He was tempted to say more, to encourage him towards Nyota Uhura. But something in the younger Spock's eyes told him that it wasn't necessary. And it pleased him to know that at least something good would come of his and Nero's time travel. It was a spark in the impenetrable dark laying over Starfleet.

"Since my customary farewell would feel oddly self serving…" The elder Spock raised his hand and made the Vulcan greeting gesture which the other Spock mirrored. "...I shall simply say: Good luck."

There was more he wanted to say and do, but he felt that it was probably too early. So, Ambassador Spock went away and was about to leave, when his younger self made a few steps forward.

"Wait, there is..."

The old Vulcan turned around. "Yes?"

"A few days ago I started to experience visions. I believe they were from your life. Glimpses into your reality, your past."

"An echo", the Ambassador nodded, "presumably caused by my presence and our telepathic abilities."

"I also deducted so when I stepped into your ship and the computer welcomed me as Ambassador Spock."

"I see."

"But when Vulcan was destroyed - it stopped."

"Up to then, this timeline must have been very similar to my own. But with Nero's attack on Vulcan the changes and differences came to a disastrous climax."

"Yes, I had one last vision which emerged in some kind of hurricane of images that exploded. Since then there were no more visions."

"What did you see prior to that?"

"I spent an evening with Ny… Lieutenant Uhura which had not happened in your timeline. The second time, I saw the Academy looking differently."

The Ambassador nodded. "A lot of things have changed, even before the past days… But I must admit that it did not go entirely for the worse."

The younger Spock gave him a questioning look.

"Nyota."

"You and her were not…?" the Commander began.

"There were… moments when we served together on the Enterprise. But we never gave into them. At the Academy we did not know each other", the old Vulcan replied with slight sadness in his voice. "I never married. The… timing was never right."

"I see…"

"But you are right on time, I believe." The Ambassador sort of smiled.

The young Spock blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"You do not keep it a secret, I saw you walking in with her."

"I love her", the younger Spock replied to his own surprise just like that. Well, why wouldn't he – he was sort of soliloquizing. And it would have been illogical to hide his feelings after displaying them publicly.

"Then you should perhaps have this." Ambassador Spock reached in his pocket. "For many years it was… as Jim would say… my good luck charm." He handed his younger self a little piece of jewelry.

"Mother's engagement ring", the Commander stated astonished and stunned.

"Yes." The Ambassador had not exactly planned on giving the ring away… so early. But it seemed to be right. "She left it to me. She wanted me to have it to remember her. And in case I should decide to take a human wife one day." He paused. "I want you to have it for the same reasons. In fact, I would assume you to give it to Nyota very soon." He made a step forward. "Stay on the Enterprise. Do not worry about our people. There are 14.685 survivors, perhaps even more somewhere out there. We will get along."

"Thank you" was all his younger self managed to say. Carefully he held the delicate silver ring with diamonds. To have his mother's ring in his hands was a small miracle. However this gift raised a question. "An engagement ring is a human tradition. Are you telling me with this that I should not choose the Vulcan way?"

"Let me answer with another question: Why did you choose Starfleet?"

"I…"

"Was it a kind of a rebellion or something you really wanted?"

These questions took the younger Spock by surprise. He could have given an immediate answer to everyone. But not him.

The Ambassador nodded contentedly. "The destruction of Vulcan and the assumption to have to tend to our people made you doubt the path you have already chosen a long time ago. So, do not… _screw up_ the balance you have found already."

And suddenly everything was clear as crystal. While presuming to be pursuing the Vulcan way Commander Spock all along had been about to truly balance himself between his two home worlds. One did not and didn't have to exclude the other.

"My home…" he whispered when he remembered his words to Nyota.

"Pardon me?"

The Commander shook his head. "Nothing. I just remembered something…" His gaze drifted to the ring in his hands. "Why did you never marry?"

"Well, I was ambitious, my duty always came first. Being a Starfleet officer, becoming ambassador… I pursued particular goals which simply… collided with a family. And following the Vulcan way I never allowed myself to love someone. Although I formed friendships with my fellow crew members. They became my family."

"Did you never regret that?"

Suddenly the older Spock smiled remembering Data and a secret mission that had brought them together on Romulus when the android had been Jean-Luc Picard's second officer. "A few years ago, an old friend of mine asked me the very same thing. I told him that 'regrets' were a human expression… that I had none and that I deliberately chose the Vulcan way of life though being half human." He sighed. "Well, maybe that is not true after all. I actually wished for some things to be different. I made some mistakes. Not only in my personal life, but also in… well, I cannot speak about that. This is one of the things I will have to figure out. I intervened already in this timeline when bringing Mr. Scott and Jim on the Enterprise and giving them certain information and the transwarp beaming formula."

"So you will keep your knowledge for yourself?"

"I do not know. There are things that cannot be told. But there are also things that _must_ be told." He thought of the Borg. "The question is where to draw the line."

Silence took over. The young Spock suppressed his urge to ask further.

The Ambassador was about to leave when something came into his mind. "One thing", he said. Compared to the Borg or the Dominion it was of minor importance, but he wasn't able to resist.

"Yes?"

"Don't let Nyota have a Tribble."

"Excuse me? … What is a Tribble?"

"Trouble."

The younger Spock was about to demand a more specific answer when his communicator beeped. "This is Commander Spock."

"Hey Spock", Jim Kirk's voice sounded, "did you forget the ceremony? It's starting soon."

"Of course not. I am on my way." Spock put the device away. "Will I see you again?"

"When you visit New Vulcan. Or when I receive an invitation to your wedding."

"What makes you so sure that I will propose to Nyota?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

Both Spocks smiled. The younger one nodded and set off for the assembly hall. Slowly the Ambassador followed him, but went one floor higher to the gallery. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I revised this chapter I wasn't sure to let the tribbles in... I wrote these lines in 2009... long before STID... But, I left them in.


	10. The undiscovered country

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota talks to Ambassador Spock.

When the ceremony was over Ambassador Spock was seeing a young woman heading towards him. Nyota Uhura. He was not certain if she knew his identity. If she didn't, he certainly would not tell her.

"May I help you, Lieutenant?" he asked casually.

"I… Will he be alright?" Nyota asked hesitating.

"So, you know who I am", he stated.

"Yes... And no – neither my Spock nor the Captain told me." She answered a question before he could ask. "How could I not know? How could I not recognize you? I can put two and two together. After all, I…" She hesitated to finish that sentence.

The Ambassador nodded. "…love him."

"What were we like in your timeline?... Wait a sec." She met his eyes. "You're saying 'him'. Not 'me' or 'us'. Is this because of this alternative-reality-thing or… in your timeline... we were not…?"

Wordlessly he shook his head.

"I see."

"I would appreciate it if you would keep my identity a secret. Though I will not exactly hide myself it would complicate things."

"Because of your knowledge about future events?"

"Yes."

"I don't quite understand. With Vulcan gone and so many dead... everything will be different."

"True. And still… My knowledge could shift the balance of force in the galaxy. That can never happen." He sighed. "As I already said to Spock – there _are_ things I must tell. But for the rest…"

Nyota nodded slowly. "So… if I may ask… a personal question. If we didn't get together…"

"Who else did I get together with? Or you? Well, I never got married. My duty always came first."

"You regret it."

He smiled inwardly about her asking the same thing as his younger self. "I do. And this is why I am thankful for you and Spock being together."

"If he'll really let me stay in his life. Or in other words, if he'll stay with me considering the latest events. He said so, but I'm… I'm afraid. I don't want him to have to choose between his people and me."

"Well, for starters, there are two of us. And I have already taken care of New Vulcan's future. And secondly, he would be a fool if he did not stay with you, Nyota… I know he will. He may yet not be certain how to balance his life with Vulcan gone and having little connection to the human way of living. But he will find his way. Very probably a better way than I did." He locked on to her questioning gaze. "In my past there were moments between… us – me and her – … but, well, I am glad this Spock is acting differently."

Nyota lowered her head. It was so odd to be standing in front of the older version of the man she was in love with. Standing in front of a man who – more or less – knew how the next 129 years would play out for the Federation.

"He will not leave Starfleet and he will not leave you."

They stood silently for some moments.

Nyota barely managed to get her emerging tears under control. "What will the Vulcan government think of this? Won't they think he's abandoning his people? I couldn't let that happen."

The Ambassador shook his head. "This is a choice we have in common. There can only be Starfleet. Starfleet is a constant in his live. As are you."

She remained silent.

"I imagine that there are rumors. Do not give into them. Currently we know of 14.685 survivors. This is not much, but it is not too little either. Evolution tells us that this is more than plenty to maintain our race. Besides, we have common ancestors with the Romulans." He hesitated. "In my time… I tried to accomplish a re-unification of our two peoples. I failed. But perhaps… As a particular Jim Kirk once cited Shakespeare: The undiscovered country. The future."

"Won't you try to find a way back into your time and reality?"

"I took my ship near the Romulan sun which was becoming a supernova to save our 'cousins' as well as the Alpha Quadrant. In doing so I knew that I would probably not come back. Ending up here was of course not planned or anticipated either… I'm very old, even died once. It would not be logical to put my remaining lifetime into the quest for a reality that only _might_ be still out there. Therefore I shall follow this new life. As someone once said: There are no endings – just new beginnings. My reality does probably continue to exist. I will start a new life in this one. I am here now and I am needed by my people. I also feel responsible for the latest events…"

Nyota was stunned.

"Now, go. Certainly, Spock will be waiting for you."

"I hope we will meet again", she replied.

A slight smile flickered around his lips. "I am certain we will."

She nodded and left the gallery. While watching her go, Ambassador Spock remembered again the dinner with the Klingon Ambassador when the older James T. Kirk had cited _Hamlet_.

 _The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns…_ The future was the undiscovered country. For himself, too. Despite his knowledge, from now on nothing would be happening the same way. Once treaded, the same paths could truly not be taken twice. One had almost to wonder if Shakespeare knew of time travel.

He slightly smiled again and literally could hear Jim Kirk's voice saying something else. "We're not in Kansas anymore", Spock whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if Spock got married in some novel or so. I just assumed he never did. TNG, DS9, VOY and the movies never mentioned a marriage as far as I know.


	11. Plans for the future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spocks plans to propose to Nyota.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I brought a TNG character in the story, who was around in the Federation several hundred years. Guinan. So, now she's on Kirk's Enterprise. I couldn't resist.
> 
> With time beeing a predator I went a little "Star Trek - Generations"...

Later that day, Commander Spock was again in the shuttle hangar to meet his father and the Vulcan Elders, who were about to depart for New Vulcan.

"You will not join us on New Vulcan", Sarek said, half question, half statement.

"No", Spock simply replied.

Sarek nodded.

"You are not disappointed in me?"

"May I remind you of what I said on the Enterprise?" his father asked instead of answering the question directly.

At first, Spock was slightly confused, then he understood. His father wouldn't allow himself to speak about feelings in front of the Elders. Shortly pondering he reached into his pocket and showed a delicate silver ring to Sarek. "I received this."

His father was surprised. But he didn't have to ask about its source. He had already met the older Spock who would accompany the Elders to New Vulcan. He knew that only his son's double could have been in possession of the engagement ring of Amanda Grayson.

The Elders stepped into the shuttle.

"This may be a surprise to you, but I knew all along that you could only decide to stay in Starfleet. You were always as strongly linked to Earth as you were to Vulcan. Do you understand what I mean?"

Spock gazed at him questioningly. "I… think so."

"I am proud of the man you have become, Spock. Amanda would have been too. You chose the best qualities of both worlds and made them your own. Your Vulcan strength, your Vulcan schooling… enlisting into Starfleet, living among Humans… falling in love with an Earth woman… as I did…"

Silence took over.

"I do not know when I am going to ask her. Our relationship is just getting public though we are seeing each other for about a year now."

"I would assume asking her soon would be logical then." Sarek's gaze told that he was well aware of the Starfleet rules and that Spock had broken them when he had started a relationship with a cadet. But his father said nothing on that matter. 

Spock hesitated to reply. It was somehow strange to talk with his father about wedding plans so soon after losing his mother and the planet on which he had grown up. On the other hand – he had lost far too much and it became clear how fast things like this could happen. The events of the latest days reminded him to cherish every moment. Time had been a predator while fighting Nero – now Spock would make time his companion. He was not willing to waste time. He wanted Nyota Uhura to become his wife.

"Will the Elders disapprove?" the Commander finally asked.

"I am not sure. They did when I decided to take a human as my wife. But this is long ago. Since then a lot has changed", Sarek replied.

"And considering the circumstances?"

"There will always be different opinions. But I already heard about an Elder's niece who is going to take a Betazoid for her husband."

A slight smile, combined with relief, illuminated Spock's face. "I see."

"If I may give you some advice?"

"Of course, father."

"You know perhaps that your mother did not approve my first proposal and rejected me?"

"Yes, I know. Although none of you ever told me why."

"I proposed to her in a… Vulcan way. She had expected a romantically gesture and an engagement ring."

"But…" Spock raised the ring.

"Yes, I gave her that ring when I proposed a second time. The first time, I had asked her to marry me like… I would have proposed a diplomatic treaty. I also pointed out the logic of our bonding. So she slapped me and ran off."

Spock raised an eyebrow in surprise. It was hard to image such a scene.

"Do not make the same mistake."

"Actually, I already have something in mind that certainly will please her."

Sarek nodded and raised his hand to perform the Vulcan farewell gesture. "Live long and prosper, my son."

"Live long and prosper, father."

 

***

 

The repairs on the Enterprise were rushed and completed way ahead of schedule, so Spock had to hurry to take his place on the ship – or rather to offer himself as First Officer. Though _something_ told him it would just be pro forma for the ship could not depart without a First Officer.

So, when he exited the turbo lift on the bridge he was already wearing the appropriate uniform. "Permission to come aboard, Captain?"

Getting the feeling of having the family together Kirk smiled. "Permission granted."

"As you have yet to select a First Officer, respectfully I would like to submit my candidacy."

Kirk rose and met Spock half way.

"Should you desire I can provide character references", Spock continued.

"It would be my honor, Commander."

They nodded at each other and Spock headed towards the science station which was also towards Nyota Uhura. While Kirk was sitting down again and commanding to leave the spacedock, Spock passed a smiling Nyota. She was happy and relieved at the same time.

Spock checked his station then turned around to her.

Her smile was followed by a stern look. "You scared me, you know? I almost thought, you would not stay on the Enterprise."

"I told you, I would not leave you."

She diminished the space between them. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm simply… a little insecure."

He allowed her to get closer. "You do not have to. I am here."

Nyota smiled again. "Yes, you are." Then she kissed him. In front of the bridge crew. At the latest now everybody who didn't know about their relationship would learn about it.

Jim Kirk who was by now holding an apple and had made himself quite comfortable in the Captain's chair grinned. "That's going to be interesting." He took a bite.

Slowly Nyota and Spock parted to resume their workstations.

 

***

 

When the Enterprise was on its way to Betazed and his shift had ended Spock headed straight to deck 10 where a large space was equipped for leisure purposes. Spock entered the establishment that was named after its location: Ten Forward.

"Commander Spock, I presume?" A middle aged woman with dark skin walked towards him. "My name is Guinan. I run Ten Forward."

Spock took a look around. "Fascinating."

"Pardon me?"

"I was informed about this place, but I am surprised how fast it was planned and set up."

"Well, we planned to open up in a few weeks. But after… well, after the latest events Admiral Pike made sure that the work would be completed ASAP. There is much work out there for the Federation's flagship, so the crew needs a place to come together and relax. Also diplomatic dinners can be held here."

"I see… Well, this place is currently quite convenient for me. Perhaps you could assist me with something?"

Guinan smiled.


	12. The courtship of Nyota Uhura

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock proposes. And the answer is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered the TNG episode "Second chances" with the paper chase through the ship and borrowed Tom Riker's poetry… The title of this chapter is referring to the novel "The courtship of Princess Leia".

A few days later, after her shift Nyota Uhura decided that it was time to renew her nail colors. She just had removed the black nail polish, when it…

… knocked.

It knocked old-fashionedly.

She opened the door, but the corridor was empty. She was just about to go back inside as she saw a little white roll of paper tied with a delicate silver ribbon on the ground. Nyota picked it up and paused, unsure what to do. She wondered where it came from. Spock – appeared to be the right answer. But she didn't have a clue why he would do such a thing.

She loosened the ribbon and unrolled the paper. There was only one sentence on it. Written in Romulan. Written by Spock's hand. The rhyme pattern made it difficult to translate that particular Romulan dialect. It was definitely a challenge. So it was definitely meant for her. And definitely from Spock.

"It pulses unendingly all through the night, seek out the crystal that powers our flight", Nyota read and blinked. "Hm…"

She contemplated what to do.

"Alright", she finally said to herself and headed towards Engineering.

When she entered the Engine Room the consistently pulsation of the warp core sounded through the room. It felt almost relaxing. Nyota took a look around, but at the first sight she didn't recognize anything out of the ordinary. She was almost about to give up when she suddenly discovered a little scroll, similar to the one she held in hands, laying on a console in front of the dilithium chamber.

Nyota was stunned. It hadn't been there moments ago. Someone just had put it there without her noticing it. Hesitating for a few seconds she went to the device and picked the scroll up. She untied the silver ribbon and unrolled it. Like the first one the sheet contained one sentence in Spock's handwriting, this time using the Vulcan dialect he was raised with. It was much easier to translate than the Romulan phrase before.

"What the future holds no one can know, but forward we look and forward we go", Nyota read. "Hm… Forward?"

At first she couldn't make any sense of it – until the ship's new establishment crossed her mind. "Forward", she smiled.

And a few minutes later she was standing in front of the doors to Ten Forward. But before she could enter they suddenly slid open and a woman in a long dress walked towards her.

"Can I help you?" she asked. "I'm Guinan. I run this place."

"Lieutenant Nyota Uhura. Communications", Nyota introduced herself and raised the two scrolls in her hand. "I think I'm supposed to come here."

"May I?"

Nyota handed her the paper rolls. Guinan took a swift look at them, smiled and gave them back to her. She gestured her to step inside. The Lieutenant did so and entered the only slightly illuminated Ten Forward. The brightness matched candlelight and as far as she could tell, she was alone in the room.

She needed a few seconds to find out where she was supposed to go. On a table near the big high windows was a bouquet of red roses. And another scroll. Also, something in one rose bloom sparkled.

Slowly, Nyota walked over and sat down. She laid down the two first rolls in order to pick up and read the third one. She hesitated to open it and suddenly grew nervous. But at last she unrolled it. Only two English words were written on the paper. They made her heart stop for a moment and caused it to beat much faster then.

Now the sparkling in one of the roses attracted and got her attention. She recognized it at once. It was a ring.

"Marry me", Spock's voice came out of the dark pronouncing the words on the third scroll.

Startled, Nyota turned her head his direction. From somewhere in the darker parts room, where she had not seen him when entering, he walked over to her. Nyota rose. She was unable to say anything, but either unable to suppress a smile. Carefully Spock took the sparkling ring from the rose in the bouquet's middle.

Nyota held her breath involuntarily. "Oh my…" was all she managed to say.

Spock took her left hand. "Will you marry me?"

Nyota blinked. It took her a few seconds to realize that Spock actually was proposing to her. And though an answer came into her mind at once, she hesitated. She wasn't sure where his question came from. "Before I answer I have to ask you something… You're not in Pon Farr, are you?"

"I am not", he assured her gently. "And even if I were, it would not change my reasons for asking you to become my wife. I love you and I want to marry you."

"And…" Her heart was racing. "… this isn't because of –"

"Nyota", he cut her off, "I do not claim that the latest events have nothing to do with my proposal. They do actually. I realized how much I have lost and how fast things can be lost. Time is precious. It took us long enough to get where we are now, to leave the Academy's rules behind us. I love you and I want everyone to see that. I do not care what people will say, I just want… to be with you, to marry you, to start a family with you."

Nyota looked at the ring Spock was still keeping ready to put on her finger. Her heart was now beating even faster. She pushed the thoughts out of her head which were telling her that what he said might still be the wrong reasons or that it might be too soon… for they were not important.

The man she loved was proposing to her. There was only one answer. Seconds, feeling like hours later, she locked on to his gaze. Her face was beaming. "The answer is yes."

 

***

 

James T. Kirk was annoyed. "What? Why is Ten Forward closed? We just opened up the place."

Guinan, who was watching the door, gave him a mysterious gaze. "Private matters."

"What?!... Who the hell is in there?... Computer?"

"Two crew members are currently present in Ten Forward. Commander Spock and Lieutenant Nyota Uhura", the Computer's female voice responded.

Kirk looked questioningly at Guinan. "What are they doing in there?"

„Why would a man plan a romantically evening alone with the woman he loves?" Guinan replied calmly. "In a special place? After special planning?"

Kirk was about to demand a non-mysterious answer when it hit him like a punch in the face. "Oh no…", he sighed exaggeratedly and rolled his eyes. "Please don't tell me he's proposing to her."

Guinan shrugged. "No."

Kirk sighed again in a combination of relief and disappointment.

"Considering the time they are in there I would assume she already said yes."

Kirk froze, then blinked and finally glared at Guinan and touched the com panel next to the door. "Kirk to Spock."

A few seconds passed.

"Yes, Jim?" Spock answered.

The Captain folded his arms. "Is there something I should now?"

"Sort of", Nyota's voice sounded.

"Are you decent? Is it save to open the door and be the first to congratulate you?" Kirk asked while still glaring at Guinan.

"Enter", Spock said.

The doors slid open and Jim Kirk went inside, accompanied by Guinan. The illumination grew a little bit brighter when they approached the couple near the windows.

Kirk stopped a few meters in front of them. "So?"

Guinan stayed smiling in the background and prepared some Champaign.

Spock took Nyota's left hand on which the engagement ring was unsuccessfully trying to exceed the beaming of her eyes. "Captain, I have to inform you that Lieutenant Uhura has agreed to become my wife", he said factually, followed by a slight smile.

At first Kirk looked at them blankly to let them sweat a litte in order to give them a big grin. He stepped forward and pulled the couple into a hug. "This is great! Congratulations!" Then he made a step backwards and pretended a critical look. "You're not pregnant, are you?" he joked.

"No", Nyota chuckled.

"Time for a toast", Guinan said quickly to foreclose further questions or discussions and brought a tray with four glasses of Champaign.

When everyone had taken a glass she put own the tray and reached out for Nyota's hand. "Let me see that ring of yours… My! It's fabulous. You've got very good taste, Commander."

"It was his mother's engagement ring", Nyota explained, still smiling and beaming though a trace of sadness laid in her words. "And yes, it's gorgeous."

"How'd you get it, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"A _family_ member gave it to me", Spock answered with a meaningful gaze in Jim's direction.

It took the Captain a moment to understand, then he nodded.

"You know, you don't have to talk in riddles because of me", Guinan said acting casually. "I can put two and two together. So I have a pretty good guess that Ambassador Spock was carrying that ring when he came here from another reality's future."

The officers froze and and looked surprised at Guinan.

"Not that it would be exactly a secret, but how do you know that?" Kirk replied.

Guinan gave him a mysterious gaze. "Have you any idea how old I am, Captain? And where I come from?"

He shrugged. "Earth?"

Still smiling Guinan shook her head. "I'm El Aurian and let's just say that I'm looking _very_ good for my age." Her expression became serious. "I possess certain abilities. 25 years ago I felt the emerging of an alternative reality. I felt how things changed back then and again in the last days… And yesterday I saw an almost 200 years old Spock… I sense the things have gone mostly for the worst, but when I see this ship, its crew and you in this very moment…" She nodded. "A few things worked out right and well."

"I never heard of El Auria", Spock said.

"This is not a good time to explain my origins. Let's just say that I've got around a lot, that I know a lot of things and that I should probably have a chat with Ambassador Spock…" Guinan's face brightened up again. "But for now, we should celebrate."

"Did you set a date yet?" Jim immediately asked.

Nyota rolled her eyes. "We just got engaged."

"You could marry on Betazed", he suggested grinning.

"No thanks, I intend to wear a wedding dress", the bride-to-be replied.

"Too bad…" Jim said - what made Spock and Nyota glare at him.

"Well", Kirk raised his glass. "Here's to the future!"

"To the future!" the others joined in.


	13. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guinan and Data talk about Ambassador Spock and where he is.

Captain Data entered the Enterprise-E's Ten Forward and sat down at the counter.

Guinan walked over to him. "Are they gone?"

Data looked up. "Excuse me?"

"These agents."

"How do you know about them, Guinan?"

She gave him a certain look and no more answer was necessary.

A moment of silence took over.

"Spock is fine", she quietly said at last. She raised a hand when he was about to ask how she could know that. "I just know", she continued. "I'm able so sense certain distortions in time and space. Remember?... I can't be more specific, I just… know that he's alive and fine."

Data nodded wordlessly.

"I remember a few years back when I had a strange feeling and called the bridge", Guinan continued.

"We encountered an anomaly and the sensors picked up a ship. But only for a few seconds."

Guinan nodded. "Back then I felt something strange regarding Tasha Yar who had died almost two years earlier… And now I sense something familiar but still different."

"I theorized towards the Agents Dulmer and Lucsly that the combination of red matter, the supernova and the warp cores of Ambassador Spock's ship and the Narada might have created a black hole through spacetime and thereby also created an alternative reality in which both ships ended up."

"Yes…" Guinan nodded. "They have."

"How can you be that certain?"

"I can't put it in words, Data. I just know that here everything is like it's supposed to be…"

"But the other reality is significantly different?"

"I sensed a lot of lives ending… Lives changing… My life there, too. I somehow know that I was on the first Enterprise though I… wasn't. At least not in our reality."

"But how…?"

Guinan gave him a meaningful gaze.

"I see."

"Bridge to Captain Data", a voice sounded.

"Data here."

"Sir, we're receiving a transmission from Vulcan. It's Ambassador Picard. He wants to talk to you."

"On my way." He nodded to Guinan and left Ten Forward.

She glanced after him and slowly walked over to the window front which currently offered a view on Earth. Though she knew everything was alright she tried to get her sensations focused.

Suddenly a scene formed in her mind and for the first time in her almost 600 years her feelings manifested in something tangible. Guinan saw herself attending to a wedding. She saw the missing Ambassador Spock… and the bridal couple – a younger Spock in Starfleet gala uniform and a young Nyota Uhura in a gorgeous white dress.

Guinan smiled.

"Live long and prosper", she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the TNG episode "Yesterday's Enterprise" Guinan can sense that the reality isn't like it's supposed to be.


End file.
